Every human: you, me, your next door neighbor, we have souls. Deep down in each one of us is a fundamental person. For me, there is a Christiana that will never change. It’s my soul. There will be a part of each one of us that stays the same. Then we have our self. It’s always changing outwardly to whom we come across. The years of most everyone’s 20s is all about finding who we are. We try on all sorts of masks. We try to find the sort of life itself that is in accordance with our souls. A life that just feels natural. If we feel out of balance or overwhelmed, and having all these changes going on nonstop, it’s because our souls haven’t had the time to catch up.
The self-discovery journey is about figuring out who our soul is and being the person that comes out naturally. During this period though, you’re meeting and being around so many different people. This outward self is always changing to be a kind of person you feel you want to be when you’re around these other people. We’re going to change a lot. That might be scary, but you have to accept it and that now is the time that these changes are most prominent.
Sometimes when I am alone with my thoughts, I ask myself ‘who am I?’ Who is Christiana? It’s odd. It can be hard to meet so many different people and act a certain way to who they are. Therefore, how can I discern who I am? Deep down there is my soul, but how I act for whatever reason will always be in flux. I have to learn to listen to myself, but for now, I still want to test out the waters, see what feels right. This is one of the most important life lessons/journeys. After talking with my very good friend tonight about a current situation I’ve been going through, we started talking more inwardly about our self and who we are. It got deep. We are realizing all these transformations around us, how and why we meet certain people, and why they leave, but most importantly we can’t loose control. If something is happening that isn’t quite right, give it time and thought. Talk it out. If I didn’t talk to her tonight about what was going on, it would eat at me for a week until I decided to do something about it. She coached me through though. Everything is back in check, or as in check as it could be.
I’m realizing this post is shifting topic, but I needed to just ramble off these thoughts.
Life is weird, man, just as it is exciting.